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Madison man felled by killer Christmas trees
Back in 1976, "Saturday Night Live" introduced us to The Killer Trees, creatures who would force themselves into Christmas tree lots, entice their prey by marking themselves down to low, low prices, and then go in for the kill.
A similar scenario played out on the grounds of Germanna Community College-Locust Grove on Dec. 18, when groundskeeper Jeff Yowell was attempting to clear debris from the campus' Hodge Park and "modernize" it with flowers. Yowell was cutting down tree limbs when one particular tree decided to harken back to its deadly past and go for some limbs of its own. Just like the victims on "SNL," Yowell never saw it coming.
"I was calling it quits for the day, when I seen this 2-foot-tall dead oak," said Yowell. "So I thought, 'Ah, this ain't no problem,' and when I started to cut, I had a chest spasm...I don't know it happened, but somehow or another I must have gotten hit by the tree."
The result of the 54-year-old Madison resident's encounter with that not-so-dead oak was a trip to Culpeper Regional Hospital in a morbid version of "The 12 Days of Christmas": one partially collapsed lung, one broken ankle, eight cracked ribs, and non-paralytic damage to the vertebrae in his neck and back. Yowell was able to reach his walkie-talkie, though, and call the people inside the campus building for help, thus ensuring that he'd live to tell the tale.
Not only that, Yowell seems to be in good spirits. He spent Christmas at University of Virginia Hospital, where he continues to recover in the presence of family members, friends, and co-workers from the college. "This might cause me some problems in the near future and all that," said Yowell, "but I don't think I'll have any major problems."
However, Yowell will have to come to terms with the knowledge that his ankles are apparently cursed. His non-broken ankle was nearly bitten clean off by a boar in Jan. 1980, while he was on leave from the U.S. Army and helping out on his father's Madison farm. Yowell was a tank commander at one point in his military career, but commanding wild pigs proved to be a taller order.
"My dad had tuberculosis, so he couldn't really get the pig back in – this is a 580-pound boar," said Yowell. "So like an idiot, I went out there..and next thing I know, I flying through the air and landing in the snow and mud on my ankle."
The boar had chomped down on his ankle in the scuffle, though fortunately no arteries were ruptured. Yowell relearned a valuable lesson that day: "Never take your eye off the pig."
Or the tree, for that matter. Yowell is eyeing an April or May return to his job, which he has held since 1986. "Until then, I'm going to relax and let Mother Nature do her thing," he said.
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